Rocky and Bullwinkle Wiki

Narrator: Our story opens today at the Slick Observatory where an international group of scientists, Eggheads and Doubledomes were meeting to dedicate the new giant 1,000-inch telescope. The chairman, Sir Newton Fugg, was presiding.

Sir Newton Fugg: Today, we will prove once and for all that there can be no life on the moon.

Narrator: Dr. Milton Nudnik, Egghead of the Year, was given the honor of the first peek.

Sir Newton Fugg: What do you see?

Dr. Nudnik: I see two moon creatures.

Sir Newton Fugg: Impossible!

Narrator: The scientists rushed to the eyepiece, and incredibly, Nudnik was right.

(Rocky Squirrel and Bullwinkle Moose are seen in the telescope)

Sir Newton Fugg: Why, it's a moon moose!

Scientist: And he's signaling us!

Sir Newton: What is he saying?

(Bullwinkle is seen waving flags)

Scientist: He says, "Here we come, ready or not."

Narrator: Sure enough, a strange rocket ship had left the moon, and was heading straight for the earth. The word spread in a flash.

(morse code is heard and newspapers are shown)

Newsboy: Extree! Extree! Moon men to invade earth! President declares emergency!

(a man is seen in front of a microphone as two people listen and the rocket ship is still flying toward the earth)

Dorson Belles: (slightly panicked) Now hear this. This is Dorson Belles speaking. The moon rocket ship is nearing the earth. This invasion is not a play. I repeat--not a play. Please feel free to panic.

Narrator: And some people did panic. Stores closed. Houses were shut up tight. Everywhere, panic reigned.

(two people are seen riding a bus reading one of the newspapers)

Subway Rider 1: What's the headlines, George?

George: Invasion from moon.

Subway Rider 1: Hm. So what else is new?

Narrator: Meanwhile, at Washington Airport, the newly-appointed ambassador of the moon, Credney Blatt, and other dignitaries and diplomats were waiting for the strange craft to land.

Diplomat: Here it comes!

(the rocket ship crashes into the ground)

Narrator: The rocket ship had made a perfect one-point landing, and while all eyes watched expectantly, the hatch opened.

(Rocky and Bullwinkle peek out from the hatch)

Credney Blatt: Welcome, moon people. You dig 'em earth talk?

Rocky: Bullwinkle, they think we're moon people.

Bullwinkle: They do? Then take me to your president!

Rocky: (hushed) (to Bullwinkle) No, no, no! We've gotta tell 'em the truth! (to the diplomats) Gentlemen, I'm Rocky the Flying Squirrel.

Bullwinkle: And I'm Bullwinkle the Moose.

Rocky: And we're both from Frostbite Falls, Minnesota.

Credney Blatt: Minnesota?

General: You mean you've been to the moon and back?

Credney Blatt: Why, they've discovered a great new rocket fuel.

(Rocky and Bullwinkle are getting photographed)

Narrator: And so to a hero's acclaim, our adventurers told their strange and incredible story. It seemed that just days before in their little house in Frostbite Falls, Bullwinkle had been baking a quick-rising cake, according to his grandmother's old recipe. But the first layer...

(Bullwinkle lights a match to bake the cake but...BOOM!)

Narrator: ...had risen a little faster than they'd expected. And the next thing they knew, the stove had been blown clear to the moon. Well, they had to get it back.

Bullwinkle: Sure, we still owe two payments on it.

Narrator: And so, the boys put together their version of a spaceship and used the second layer of that extraordinary cake to propel them to the moon.

Rocky: And the third layer blasted us back.

General: That cake batter must be a revolutionary rocket fuel!

Credney Blatt: My boy, you must make more of that cake for your government.

Rocky: Bullwinkle, you're gonna be a famous scientist!

Bullwinkle: Well, after all, I am a graduate of M.I.T. The Moose Institute of Toe Dancing.

Narrator: Unfortunately, our boys wouldn't have been so happy had they overheard two notorious spies.

Boris: You hear, Natasha? First get the formula and then... (makes a noise while sliding his finger) kill the moose or wice-wersa.

Narrator: And so, a short while later, the new Director of Guided Moosiles was interrupted by...

Natasha: Hello, you great big wonderful moose!

Bullwinkle: Why, that's right and neighborly of you.

(Natasha hugs Bullwinkle lovingly)

Natasha: You will give me Grandma-ma's recipe?

Bullwinkle: Wha-ther?

Natasha: Well, I hope to be a Grandma-ma myself someday.

Bullwinkle: I'd love to, but in the explosion, I only saved half my recipe. I know how much, but not what of.

Narrator: Natasha's friend then did a very un-neighborly thing.

Boris: (makes a noise and slides his finger)

(cut to the Director of Guided Mooscles Office where a clock is heard ticking)

Natasha: Dollink, will you please hold this package for me?

Bullwinkle: Well, I'd planned to leave in a couple of minutes.

Natasha: Don't worry, you will.

Bullwinkle: Sounds like a clock.

Narrator: Bullwinkle's steel-trap mind had done it again. It was a clock, only attached to 14 sticks of dynamite, and it was wired to go off in 30 seconds. Don't miss tomorrow's exciting episode: "Bullwinkle's Ride" or "Goodbye, Dollink."