Rocky and Bullwinkle Wiki
Advertisement

Narrator: In trying to rediscover their secret rocket fuel, Rocky and Bullwinkle have been threatened by two moon men, who will go to any lengths to keep earth tourists from cluttering up the surface of the moon, even to scrooching our heroes, if need be. And if that weren't bad enough, when the boys were on their way home, the two spies, Boris and Natasha, received their latest instructions.

(Boris and Natasha are in the hotel room with heavy safe and rope in hand as Natasha reads instructions)

Boris: Don't tell me. Let me guess. I'll bet it says, "KEEL MOOSE!" Right?

Natasha: Right.

Boris: Okay!

(Boris uses a knife to cut the rope, causing the heavy safe to fall)

Natasha: But in front are two more words: "DO NOT."

(Boris takes the paper)

Boris: (reads) "DO NOT KEEL MOOSE!" (slaps his face) Oh, Boris, you impetuous boy, what have you done?

Natasha: Better yet, what will you do?

Boris: Save him! I've got to save him!

Narrator: Boris raced to beat the heavy safe to the ground, and he won.

(the safe crashes into the ground, squeezing Boris)

Narrator: ...almost. The heavy safe drove him into the ground like a tent stake! Bullwinkle's keen mind knew instantly what had happened!

Bullwinkle: Hey, up there! You dropped your safe!

Natasha: Boris! Boris, where are you?

(Boris pops out of a manhole cover)

Boris: Here!

Natasha: Boris, darling, you're alive!

Boris: This is living?

Narrator: In the next few days, the boys worked like demons. Measuring, sifting, rolling, baking. And the results were tremendous! Seven-layer cheesecakes, hot fudge strudel, an acre of cinnamon pizzas, and 200 pounds of peanut brittle! Unfortunately, none of it would explode.

Rocky: Golly, Bullwinkle. People are depending on us. The world's waiting for our discovery. That recipe is locked in your brain somewheres.

Bullwinkle: It is?

Rocky: Yup. All we gotta do is figure how to get it out. Hey! I've got it! Hypnosis!

Bullwinkle: Hip-who-sis?

Rocky: You'll be hypnotized, and while you're asleep, you'll tell us the recipe.

Bullwinkle: I'm gonna talk in my sleep?

Rocky: Yup.

Bullwinkle: Swell. Usually, I just snore.

Rocky: We'll get the world's greatest hypnotist to come here and...

(a knock is heard at the door)

Rocky: Who is it?

(the door opens, and a disguised Boris and Natasha appear)

Boris: It is I, Swami Ben Boris, world's greatest hypnotist. This is my assistant.

Rocky: Haven't we met before?

Boris: Were you ever in Cairo?

Rocky: No.

Boris: Well, that's it, then! Neither was I! (to Bullwinkle) Now, let's get to work!

Bullwinkle: Shucks, you can't hypnotize me. I got too much brainpower. I'm just a...

(Boris snaps his fingers, hypnotizing Bullwinkle on the spot)

Bullwinkle: (hypnotized) Yes, master.

Boris: All right. What is in the recipe?

Rocky: Wait a minute. You'll have to leave now. This is top-secret stuff.

Boris: Oh, don't worry. I won't listen. On my honor is a genuine swami.

Rocky: What about the lady?

Boris: She doesn't speak English. Do you, dear?

Natasha: Of course not.

Rocky: Well, maybe she'd better put her fingers in her ears, anyway.

Boris: (sort of annoyed) Okay. (gleefully to himself) At last, the formula will be mine. (to Bullwinkle) Now, Mr. Moose, tell me everything you know.

Narrator: So Bullwinkle told them everything he knew--all about his early days in the Minnesota woods; his days at the Philpott School for Exceptional Children, and he was exceptional, being the only student with antlers; his experiences in the Army, where he served three years as a hat rack in the Officers' Club. On and on he went without stopping for twelve hours.

(clock chimes as the hands of the clock go for twelve hours)

Narrator: But true to their promise, Boris and Natasha didn't hear a word. The steady drone had long since sent them to dreamland. Unfortunately, it had done the same thing to Rocky. And so when Bullwinkle finally got to Grandma's recipe, the only people who heard it weren't people at all! But the two moon men.

Cloyd: Did you hear that, Gidney?

Gidney: Yes, Cloyd. It's exactly the formula we use.

(Cloyd aims his scrooch gun at Bullwinkle)

Cloyd: Oh, boy! Can I scrooch him now?

Gidney: Yes, Cloyd. You can scrooch him now.

(Cloyd fires his scrooch gun at Bullwinkle and the screen, revealing the next episode's title card)

Narrator: Don't fail to see our next episode: "The Scrooched Moose!"

Advertisement